


In This Together

by Esperata



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, Murder-Suicide, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Recovery, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 19:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16625012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Hermann is not going to abandon Newt again. Whatever the cost.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [newt&hermann i wanna die with you](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/432719) by Intriguue. 



> This is my post Pacific Rim cathartic release. I needed to write this before my mind would stop screaming at me. The accredited video is actually something I watched afterwards but it was too perfect not to mention.

“You can’t just _keep_ him like this.” Hermann stomped resolutely behind Pentecost. “It’s inhuman!”

Jake turned suddenly, almost causing the mathematician to walk into him.

“But that thing in there isn’t human. Not anymore.”

Hermann seized his opportunity while he had the man’s undivided attention.

“Newton’s still in there,” he insisted. “When he… they… opened the breach, he spoke to me. The real man. Not the Precursors.”

“He tried to throttle you.”

Hermann twisted his neck slightly at the sense memory but kept his gaze focused.

“Yet he didn’t. If you’ll just let me try to reach him again-”

“Doctor Gottlieb,” Jake spoke over him firmly. “You’re a mathematician. Not a psychologist or neural surgeon. What can you possibly do?”

Hermann ground his teeth at the rebuff but he wasn’t prepared to give up yet.

“I worked with Doctor Geiszler for years. I know him better than anyone. There’s no physician who can claim that.”

“Really? Then how come you didn’t notice his mind was taken over by Kaiju?”

Hermann dropped his gaze, ashamed at the pointed accusation, but still determined.

“I admit we drifted apart.” He winced at his own terminology. “But he’s still my friend.”

“Pity you didn’t care as much before. If you’d been a proper friend, perhaps none of this would have happened!” Jake snapped with an angry flush before focusing again on Doctor Gottlieb. Who had gone deadly pale. Jake sighed.

“I didn’t-” he began but it was already too late. Doctor Gottlieb had spun on his heel and was marching away from him determinedly.

Jake considered chasing after him but what could he say? He could apologise for lashing out over his sister’s death but it would still leave the conflict over what to do about Doctor Geiszler. They needed to come to this with calm minds.

He’d let Doctor Gottlieb come to his own conclusion. The man was rational reasoning personified. By morning he would have to agree there was nothing they could do for his old lab partner.

*

Newton Geiszler’s body opened its eyes as the door before him opened. A sneer graced his face as he recognised the crippled form coming towards him.

“Newton’s not home,” the gravelly voice of the Precursors told him.

“Do you remember when we saved the world?” Hermann looked at the figure sat before him intently. “The first time,” he clarified.

There was no response, just a vague impression of curiosity about what he was getting at.

“I thought everything would be fine then. I’d gotten so focused on winning as the end that I forgot life would continue _afterwards._ ”

There was still no reply but he wasn’t discouraged. If anything the silence prevented him getting distracted from what he wanted to say. And reminded him forcibly that _they_ were still in control. Newton was hardly ever quiet.

He retrieved a small case from his pocket as he continued.

“And do you know what I found myself wondering afterwards? Was it actually worth it.” His eyes met the curious gaze and he tried to see beyond that outer layer. Tried to speak to the man within.

“I went from working with a brilliant scientist, a friend, a… respected colleague, to being alone again. And I thought that was because Newton no longer wanted to work with me. That he simply didn’t like me.”

He thought he saw a flicker of something in those green eyes but it was so brief he wasn’t sure.

“And I’ll admit I accepted that because its always been true before. I know I am not easy to get along with.” He flipped open the case he was holding and pulled out a syringe. “But I see now it wasn’t Newton at all. It was _you._ ”

“What is that?” The cold eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“A highly effective toxin.” He met the stunned gaze frankly. “There was only one thing I ever wanted to keep from the hellish war. And you took it from me. Now I intend to get him back.”

“That will kill him. We will live on beyond the breach. You’ll gain nothing.”

Hermann smiled.

“You misunderstand.” He drew another syringe out. “I intend to join him wherever he goes. We’ll do this together.”

There was a definite flicker in the eyes now as Hermann approached resolutely and then the face sprang to lock on his.

“Hermann? What are you doing?”

He let out a sigh as he recognised the Kaiju’s inevitable ploy to prevent his action. Showing him Newt was clearly designed to halt his hand. He’d expected it but it still caused his stomach to clench unpleasantly. He was glad now he’d rehearsed exactly what he should say.

“There is only one way to make sure. And that is to do this. Together.” He fixed his own sure gaze on emotion filled green orbs. “I’ll go with you.”

“Hermann,” Newt breathed and he held his own breath as he awaited what would follow. “You’d do that for me? With me?”

Hermann clasped Newton’s clenched fist emphatically.

“I won’t let you leave me again Newton Geiszler.”

Newt grinned manically and turned his hand to entwine their fingers tightly.

“Together then.” His grin turned to a grimace. “Quickly. They’re…”

Hermann steeled himself and plunged the needle into Newton’s arm, simultaneously depressing the plunger. Either the drug kicked in unexpectedly quickly, or more likely the Kaiju were making a last ditch attempt to save their neural link, causing him to spasm and Hermann stepped back.

As the body slumped down the eyes flickered briefly and Newton once again smiled at him. Hermann managed a watery smile back before sinking the second plunger into his own arm. For a moment nothing seemed to happen, then he felt the burn.

Stumbling, he wound up knelt by the side of Newton’s chair. As shudders began to wrack his frame he still felt a heavy hand land in his hair.

“Together,” a slurring voice murmured.

Hermann couldn’t find enough energy to respond but let his eyes drift shut.


	2. Chapter 2

When Hermann opened his eyes, the first thing he was aware of was that he was in the medical facility. The second was that he really didn’t expect to be opening his eyes.

A jolt of alarm made him try to sit up but he couldn’t even raise his head. If he was here, where was Newt?

If he’d only succeeded in half his plan…

With an undignified whimper he managed to roll his head and saw, to his unutterable relief, that Newt was in the next bed alongside. Strapped down and unconscious but apparently not dead.

He sighed and turned his head back, only to find Pentecost storming into his field of vision.

“What the hell were you thinking!”

Hermann blinked sleepily. Surely that was obvious, even to a person of average intelligence.

“You nearly killed yourself! You _did_ kill yourself. If-”

“Newton?” he interrupted shakily. His voice cracked as chapped lips refused immediately to part but his meaning must have been understood. Jake softened and cast a glance along to the biologist.

“Alive. We’ve no idea as yet as to his state of mind though.”

Hermann nodded vaguely. They were still in this together then.

“I’m sorry.” The apology brought Hermann’s attention back and he realised he’d been drifting off. “I never should have said you didn’t care for Newt.”

“I wasn’t… there… for him.” It was a hard fought battle to get the words out.

Jake smiled and stepped forward to lay a hand stop Hermann’s.

“That was the Kaiju,” he suggested. “I think they recognised they’d never win Newt over completely while you were still in his life.”

Hermann wanted to believe that but he knew it wasn’t so simple. They’d influenced Newt obviously but it had still been his own decision to leave. And Hermann had done little to convince him to stay.

“Get some sleep,” Jake suggested, patting his hand awkwardly. “There’s going to be a lot of shit to wade through sorting all this out.”

Hermann wanted to protest but he really was tired and he couldn’t resist the comfort of sleep.

*

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Hermann had seen Newton.

When he’d awoken again the other bed was empty and he’d caused merry hell until someone explained Doctor Geiszler was receiving the best medical care Shao could provide. He’d not been happy that Newton had been taken away before he could even say two words to him but there was little he could do.

His own doctors tried to make him focus on his own recovery. The toxin had destroyed a lot of muscle strength and just learning to walk again was a struggle. He was glad when physical exhaustion knocked him out though because at least then he couldn’t think about what might be happening to Newton.

No-one would answer his questions, only telling him he was in therapy and they didn’t have a diagnosis yet. It was still entirely possible Hermann had gone through all this only to have Newt locked away again.

He’d been let out of the med facility back to his room and found himself sitting on his bed, too weary to move but mind too preoccupied with worry to sleep. A sharp knock at the door startled him and he made to rise before his leg gave out and he collapsed down again.

“Come in,” he called resignedly.

The door opened to reveal Pentecost and…

“Newton!” Hermann did manage to rise then, only to trip as he tried to step forward. Arms quickly caught him and drew him back to the bed.

“Shush. I got you.”

Hermann found himself clinging tightly to tattooed arms. Dimly he was aware he was probably bruising him but he couldn’t bear to let go yet.

“Newton. Are you…? Are they…”

“Gone? I think so. You did it man.”

“We hope so at any rate,” Jake interrupted. “Every test has come back negative and Doctor Geisler has been through every test they could think of. There’s still a condition to his release though.”

Doctor Gottlieb looked up at him expectantly. Jake smiled softly.

“He has to stay away from PPDC research. And he has to have someone who’s willing to watch him in case of a relapse.”

“I’ll do that,” Hermann said immediately. “I can work on my theorems from anywhere.”

“Hermann,” Newt’s voice was soft. “I’m still not… right. I did a lot of stuff that I’m ashamed of.”

“And you think you corner the market in regrets? At least you have possession by an alien intelligence to explain your behaviour. I however…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Newt protested.

“I let you go when I knew we were both still experiencing feedback from the drift. I should have been a better friend.”

“Dude. You were willing to die for me. With me,” he amended softly.

Jake coughed awkwardly.

“I’ll leave you two to sort out the details but I’ll confirm Doctor Gottlieb as your parole officer.”

The room fell quiet as Pentecost left and Hermann realised he was still holding onto Newton’s arms. As there had been no objection yet though he didn’t remove himself.

“I missed you, you know,” Newt murmured. Hermann glanced up at him and realised Newton was wearing his glasses again. “I wanted to tell you everything but…” He huffed.

“It was weird. At times I felt like me, and I’d think about you but then, everything got twisted. I can’t describe it.”

“Its over now,” Hermann said, stroking a hand up and into Newt’s hair.

“Is it?” Newton looked desperately at him. “I keep thinking that any moment they’ll be in my head again. Making me do things I don’t want to do. Or making me hurt you. And I just-”

Hermann cut off the ramble by the simple expedient of kissing him. As he broke away he let out a soft sigh.

“I’m not saying things will be easy,” he commented, ignoring Newt’s somewhat stunned look. “But know that I’m not going to let anyone, or anything, take you out of my sight again.”

“Promise?” Newt rested his forward against Hermann’s.

“I promise.”

Newt closed his eyes in tired relief.

“Let’s get some sleep,” Hermann suggested. “I expect we’ll have a busy day tomorrow finding ourselves somewhere to live.”

“Hhmm. Sounds nice.” Newt pulled Hermann with him as he settled on the bed. As the shorter man curled up against him, Hermann used his longer reach to wrap him up securely in his arms. Pressing a kiss into messy hair he wondered at the hell they’d both gone through before reaching this point. How unnecessary a lot of it had been.

But from here on, they were going to focus on each other. No war, no kaiju, no PPDC.

Just Newt and Hermann, together.


End file.
